Ramona Christine
Today, I give myself permission to...

Ramona Christine

Holistic Psychotherapist, Spiritual Coach, Biofeedback Practitioner

Learning to accept those things I could not change, empowered to change those things I could.

Serving to inspire a healing transformation: From the Inside, Outward.

iam@embracedforlife.com

Holistic Psychotherapy

Spiritual Coaching

Biofeeback

Your Life's Purpose - AstroNumerology

Business Credit Consultations

Consumer Credit Analysis / Strategy

The Many Faces of Spiritual Healers

Spiritual Gifts & Blessings

Spiritual Autobiography

"Traditional Native Americans believe that objective reality is the unfolding of the spiritual world on the plane of physical existence. To maintain that healing only takes place through orthodox Western medicine ignores this spiritual dynamic to the detriment of all. Healing that does not involve body, mind, and spirit can never be anything but partial." - Lone Wolf Dancing on Thunder

A passion to search for meaning and purpose in the spiritual wounds of my life began in 1994 as a long-term resident in a battered women's shelter. Beginning at the age of twelve, my life was spun into a whirlwind of chaos, leaving me to fend for my own psychological, emotional, and spiritual survival using the only resources I had, the spiritual gifts that were handed to me by my grandmother, faith in prayer and endurance.

My grandmother instilled these gifts through compassion, acceptance, and patience. My grandmother was a spiritual healer and people from around the community would come to her for spiritual help through her prayers and medicinal remedies. As the eldest granddaughter, I was her student and I learned from her, not only how to maintain and endure, but also how to take on the pain of others, especially family members (not limited to blood relatives). In the evenings, we would kneel at the alter together to pray for everyone we met that day, to pray over their conditions and circumstances, and to inspire Divine activity in their lives. For most of my life, taking on the pain of others was a burden until I learned the power of transformation; how to transform pain into power, wisdom, and insight through compassion, patience, acceptance, and empathy. However, the journey to learn how to transform pain has been (and continues to be) a long one and it began at the age of twenty-six as I had no choice but to face my own pain.

It began at the battered women's shelter, where (I believe), Divine intervention shone the brightest in my life. It was an unexpected (Divine things typically are unexpected) chain of events of encounters with spiritual healers of differing belief systems, approaches, perspectives, understandings, and worldviews, twenty-six years ago, that perpetuated the journey I continue to travel today, as a Holistic Psychotherapist and Spiritual Coach...

Holistic Psychotherapy

Divine Tragedy

A Broken Spirit

I will not let go!

My first intimate relationship, at the age of fourteen (yes, fourteen) was extremely abusive, physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. According to my boyfriend (and his mother), I was the whore who needed to learn how to act right and humble myself. Six years into this relationship I found myself reaching out and praying to a God who was totally invisible and absent from me. God's image had disappeared into the faces of an abusive boyfriend and a cruel (so-called) mother-in-law. For six years, I endured their pain, their spiritual sadness, and their personal torment by taking the blows for them. Surprisingly, I never hated them, instead, I took on the blame and tried really hard to fix myself for their happiness and acceptance. I never really hated them although I was hurt by them. It took a couple of decades to learn that no matter what I did or who I was, I would never be enough for them and I also learned that they were the one's really suffering.

The true atrocity was their use of God and the dogmas of their own twisted theological comprehension as a weapon against me. Although I wrestled hard within my own mind to keep ahold of God's hand, I felt myself slowly falling away from believing in God at all. And, although my heart of all hearts never really let me pull fully away, I felt myself slipping and doubting. By the time I met James, my advocate at the battered women's shelter, I knew there was something Divine to believe in, but I had no clue what God was anymore. I wasn't even sure God was a real thing at all. Maybe, like a Cinderella story, it was just a dream to hold on to. My grandmother's God was rendered invisible by the personal condemnations of suffering people to whom I gave a lot of power. The God I once believed in hated me and was out to punish me in very cruel ways. I cannot count on my fingers the coffins I have cried over, emergency room visits I had sat through, or jail cells I had to visit loved ones through. The abuse I had endured, the tragedy I experienced, and the pains of the heart that remain a part of me today, were God's intentions for me because of some unknown or unrealized mistake that I was. I knew there was a loving God out there somewhere, but surely not for me.

Shortly after I escaped (literally) my boyfriend (and his mother), I was in my late teens when I met him, the one who would kick me when I was already down. He appeared like some hero to rescue me from being punched in the face and choked by my boyfriend in the passenger seat of the car. He swooped in, rescued me, and took me for ice cream to tell me how beautiful I was and how I didn't deserve to be treated that way. Eventually, I would learn that he swooped in to take over from where the last one left off. For the next two years of sexual and emotional rape by this man who worked very hard to remind me of how below him I was, I was gradually spiraling into a very dark and despaired place of despair and depression when it came to my sense of self and self-worth. Not only was I a failure to God, I was also the most stupid person on this planet, a total low-life with a kid on welfare, without an education. HE was from a prestigious family, was college educated, and with financial resources to be the best. I needed to be thankful he was in my life and I owed him an explanation (a detailed and refined one) for every thought, opinion, and feeling I dared to say aloud and if it meant staying up all night until I was successful in doing so, then so be it.

This sad, sad man was not the final attempt at breaking my spirit, there were also others and other situations. By the time I landed at the battered women's shelter, I had two children, four and nine years old. They were not with me at the shelter, they were in foster care. I was alone at the shelter, totally broken, and sitting across a kitchen table meeting with a Wicca Goddess, a battered women's advocate...

Spiritual Autobiography

  

Divine Transformation

Returning Home - Indigenous Navajo

I Sat and Prayed Today

My lovely grandma, I sat and prayed today
I prayed for wisdom and sight to find my way
Into inner peace where you always seemed to be
I remember your smile and powerful words to me

Me Hita, be faithful and always pray
God will never deceive and always has a way
To teach us when we're ready to know
How life guides us so that we may grow

Into powerful spiritual beings
With big, beautiful and soaring
To glide through life learning as we go
That God is more powerful than we know

Thank you God for my precious guide
Who brought to me gifts I will not hide
Grandma, your life light is still aglow
Always reminding me that it is good to know

The most difficult answers as to the "why's"
And that ignorance leads us only to lies
Or even leads us nowhere at all
Destined to land face first when we fall

Written by Ramona Christine in ©2007

I lived at the battered women's shelter for six months until I could return home (out of state) and be re-united with my children. They were now in the custody of my mother. While living at the shelter, I was befriended by many Native American women. Because my son is Lakota Sioux, they took me under their wings and taught me things I needed to know as a Native mother. They taught me the feminine ways of the Lakota Sioux.

Mary was my closest friend. Her and I would talk for hours and we trusted each other. I will never forget the gift given to me by Mary. Mary made a phone call to request a prayer ceremony on my behalf. She asked a Native American Medicine Man if he would be willing to help me with prayers and a ceremony to heal and get back home to my family and my children. I was touched on so many levels that anyone would do something so special and compassionate for me. I was even more surprised when he said, "Yes." and provided a list of instructions for us to follow prior to the ceremony. He drove 450 miles to offer the ceremony.

Mary and I, along with her five small children, hitchhiked 50 miles to get to the ceremonial site. We followed the instructions given to us to prepare for the ceremony. Out of respect for sacred ceremonies and ritual sites, I will not post details or photos of personal alters or ceremonial sites. We sat in the sweat lodge, and the whole time, I was just in awe. I was an eager student with an open heart, but at the same time, I was a skeptic. I was a skeptic out of fear, fear of believing that I was worthy of someone's time and compassion. In between his song and drum, he would stop to provide me with a Divine message. The messages were puzzles, but eventually, they made sense as they came into full fruition over the years.

A Dance Toward the Moon

Several months later, I returned home and was reunited with my children. The time had come for me to step into my life and reorient to where I was as a single parent with two children in tow. I had no place to live, no education, no money, and my family could only handle us staying with them for so many days at a time. I had very little education with no hope of ever returning to college because of my defaulted student loans. I held on to my faith, believing that I would eventually find my way. While living in poverty, homeless shelters, sleeping in cars with my children, and searching for ways to survive, I often wondered about my grandmother and her spiritual traditions and healing work and how these Divine messages were meant to serve me. I had to do something with these Divine gifts of faith, insight, and wisdom. They surely must have come to me to serve some purpose. Was this the end of the road for me? I continued to search for my way.

Along my way, I met a lot of people in the shelters, on the streets, at the parks, and just about everywhere I went who had a story of sadness, despair, struggle, loss, confusion, loneliness, and fear, to share. I would sit and be present with them, to bear witness to their story and offer compassion even as I had my own sad stories. In my heart of all hearts, I strived to encourage them to hold on just a little bit longer and inspire a hope that they were not abandoned, forsaken, or lost. Although, as a realist, I knew I could never promise or guarantee the best outcome, a seedling of hope was something I could share.

It was (literally) a miracle phone call that got my student loans back into repayment. It was (literally) a surprise opportunity that got my foot back into the door of academia, earning me an Associates Degree as a Computer Applications Specialist. It was (literally) a miracle that landed me a job as a bartender in a particular steakhouse restaurant where I encountered the most powerful Divine message of my life.

During the day, I provided services from home as an independent web developer. I worked with Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Illustrator, and all Office programs, including desktop publishing. Keep in mind, this was in the late 1990's, just shortly after Microsoft developed their first operating system, Windows 3.1. I hard coded in .asp, C++, .html, Visual Basic, Java, and javascript. During the evening, I would bartend. In 2004, it seems, the new WYSIWYG software programs that allowed for the average consumer to build their own websites using drag and drop techniques was putting a lot of us independent web developers out of work. I knew it was time for me to return to academia, so what was I going to do? Was I going to continue my computer science education or was I going to do what my heart truly desired, provide spiritual care and support to individuals? I bounced around this question for a few years, but knew that I could not return to academia full time while my kids were still so young. I had to wait a few more years to get them through their difficult teens.

On a day when I was waitressing at the steakhouse (I usually bartended), a customer with a long, grey-haired braid walked in. I took his order and as I walked away after giving him his salad, he reached out and grabbed my hand. I was startled at first and thought he was going to ask me on a date. He looked me in the eye and said that he was a Native American Medicine Man and that he was having a ceremony that night and the spirits told him that I needed to be there. My heart skipped a few beats and tears welt into my eyes. I had been thinking about those many years before and trying to piece it all together in my head and I still had so many unanswered questions - after the death (murder) of my grandmother, my daughter's suicide attempt, my sister who was in prison, and now that my son was drug addicted and in a juvenile detention center, and after all my years of struggle to survive, I still had so many unanswered questions. I had to go...

Your life’s journey IS your spiritual journey into a personal Truth.

My life has not always been peaches and cream (as my aunt would say). There have been days of wrestling on Jacob’s ladder to get to where I am today – to a place where I feel safe and trust in my own process. And still, some days are better than others. Will there really ever be a time when we are just totally content and happy? I don’t think so. However, equipping ourselves with coping tools such as spiritual practices, mindful awareness, and a Divine connection is a powerful step in the spiritual recovery process. Healing begins from within.

If I can prepare you for anything at all, it is to accept that your spiritual journey is a precious looking glass. Once you open your heart and your mind to explore the powerful and profound realization of self and how you are connected in this world, this life (as a living and fluid document), you will not be able to turn a blind eye. Although deny as you might, Divine messages will appear in their own way and at their own time. The awareness of something bigger than you will always be with you, its wisdom and presence will speak to you in mysterious ways, and new answers will be consistently revealed. Your journey into your person is sacred and dynamic, and never will an absolute answer be revealed. The answers you seek can never be found in a book, nor can they be formulated with absolutes - your journey is a life-long journey where endless opportunities are possible.

What am I up to now?

Most of my time is spent learning something, studying something, or trying to figure something out. Currently, I am a full-time student at the Institute of BioEnergetic Medicine (IBEM), a Native American Seminary in completion of a dual doctorate program in Natural and Sacred Medicine (DNM/DSM).

As I work on these things and continue in my self-care, spiritual healing journey, I am also working on certificaton in the following:
- NADA Protocol (Auricular Acupuncture for Addictions)
- CAS (CACII) Certification and clinical practicum
- Instructor/Teacher training in White Tiger Qi Gong
- Certified HeartMath Practitioner

My Intention

My intention is to share what I have learned and to companion those who are searching for answers.

The services I offer as a Holistic Psychotherapist and Spiritual Coach emerged as a personal offering to share and engage in self-love and discovery from the inside, outward. My formal credentials are not to prove that I am worthy or "know enough", they are instead evidence of the searching I have done to find my way in the world in order to navigate the physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological twists and turns in life that I have been challenged by. Wherever you are in your life, may you be content, know peace, and continue to endure with a zest for life - like a child with hopes and dreams for the future. Blessings.

Embrace(D) for Life